Shama Sanctuary has been anything but a peaceful safe haven for woodland creatures this summer.
When Eric and I returned home in early July after a few weeks of travel, we were excited to meet this year’s fawns. Lily gave birth on May 29th and Pearl and Sparkle likely did soon thereafter. Although initially as newborns fawns are kept hidden, we knew that by now they would be tagging along with their moms out into the open. Except, when we got back, Lily and Pearl didn’t have fawns with them, and Sparkle was nowhere to be found.
Then we noticed that the groundhogs were also missing. Studio Sam (who lived under the deck to the recording studio in the house) and her pesky friends from other places in the woods had just disappeared without a trace.
We were puzzled.
A few days later it occurred to us that all the feral cats had also disappeared, as well as the chipmunks, bunnies, raccoons, squirrels, and turkeys. And where were the birds? Each morning we have our coffee on the back deck and listen to them sing. But now, the woods were eerily quiet.
We soon realized we had new residents at Shama Sanctuary who happen to be at the top of the food chain.
One day I was alone in our very long driveway picking wineberries, when Eric came running out of the house saying “Did you see that? It was huge!†What he saw was a very big coywolf cross the driveway ahead of me. It even stopped in the middle of the driveway and scratched itself, while I was right there picking berries. A coywolf is a hybrid between a wolf and a coyote, so it is bigger (and scarier looking) than your standard coyote. They also like to snack on small mammals, including fawns.
Other new residents are a pair of hawks: Harold and Henrietta. These two broad winged hawks had been screeching pretty much nonstop most of the summer. My sister even saw one of them swoop down and grab a bird off a branch. We also saw bear scat; meaning Elmo the black bear has been hanging around. If that wasn’t enough, a bobcat has also been spotted in our neighborhood.
It appears all our new residents have been hungry.
While this summer slaughter at Shama Sanctuary has been going on, I’ve been thinking of the parallels happening in the world around me. The list is so long that I can’t possibly list everything that causes angst. But here are a few things that come to mind:
- Friends in my life are dealing with infidelity, divorce, leukemia, breast cancer, death of family members (both human and furry), and one friend’s girlfriend was even horrifically just deported (and she was here on a LEGAL VISA!).
- One of the most magical and important places I’ve ever been — the Amazon rainforest (which produces 20% of the world’s oxygen) — has been in flames.
- Our world leaders are breeding contempt and division, through hateful and even criminal actions.
- Hurricane Dorian has obliterated the Bahamas, and let’s not forget about Puerto Rico.
- Friends are still rebuilding after their homes burned to the ground in last year’s California wildfires, and this year’s fire season is just starting.
- School shootings. Need I say more?
I think we are all walking around in a haze of grief from the state of the world, and that’s impacting our relationships, our decisions, our sleep, our moods, our health, and literally our very lives. People I love and care about are literally blowing up their lives with anger and finger pointing, creating conflict where there should be none.
It’s a savage world.
But, if I may, it’s also a beautiful one. Shama (inner peace) can be found everywhere if you remove the negative filter with which you are looking at things. Last week Lily was gazing into my eyes. When she does this, with her gentle, trusting, big, beautiful liquid eyes with impossibly long lashes, my body and mind tingle and it feels like my sense of self begins to dissolve. This may sound bizarre, but when I look into the eyes of a deer, I see God. Lily’s gaze is so intense, and the feeling it gives me of utter detachment to this world is so foreign and unsettling, that I always look away first. I wonder what would follow if I just surrendered to what was happening without getting scared?
But you don’t need to befriend a deer to find shama. Inner peace is found in little moments, the spaces in between the beats of everyday life. Like in the smile of a close friend (such as Beth from The World Needs More Pie, whom I visited at her Iowa farm last week); in the laugh of a baby; in the intricate wings of a bumblebee feeding on a coneflower; in the colors of a sunset sky; in the feeling of your feet walking barefoot in the grass; or in the moment of intimacy that is felt after having a tough, vulnerable and honest conversation with a loved one.
Things have started to look up at Shama Sanctuary. Sparkle returned and brought with her 
a sweet fawn named Wren. A couple feral cats have been spotted. We’ve seen a bunny, as well as a raccoon and a couple squirrels. We watched three juvenile hawks fledge, and since then, we haven’t seen them or Harold and Henrietta. We have been collecting birdhouses to hang so that the remaining birds have a safe place to seek cover from predators and weather.
We still haven’t seen any groundhogs, chipmunks, or turkeys. But this is the cycle of life. It’s savage, but it’s also lovely and ever changing.
One day things will shift and not only will the outside world be a better place, but our woodland creatures will be back. Until then, I’ll continue to seek shama in the deep ocean of Lily’s eyes.
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